We're emotional like that.

Many at times I overhear my friends describe me with expressions such as 'not emotional', and I wonder, what are the qualities that make one seen as 'emotional'?, Could it be the fact that they're easily drawn to tears when they witness an 'emotional' scene as opposed to me?. I'm drawn to tears too, but well,  they don't drop, they just cloud in my eyes and when they realize there is absolutely no way I'm going to release them, they be like 'at least we tried', and go back inside their ducts. I'm really not comfortable with people seeing me cry, I view it as a sign of weakness,  or am I being too hard on myself?.
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Okay, I don't cry at burials. Accepted. But I can explain. I don't do this on purpose, believe me, but if I don't know a person personally and he/she happens to die, I could sit there and watch the whole world cry and I'll be left wondering if I'm medically okay as opposed to my mom and sister who can pass by a burial ground, notice the moody environment and immediately start wailing. Now what if I know the deceased? Fine, I'll be normal for once and shed tears, but how long I do that depends on the circumstances surrounding the death, the circumstances that will befall the loved ones of the deceased, and our level of familiarity.  Weird. I know. You don't need to say it twice. I will bawl my eyes out when I hear of the demise but on the day of the burial will be as dry eyed as a tortoise no matter how much I hurt.
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I cry when I'm frustrated. Happens every time. There's this instance I was really looking for a place to enroll in the compulsory SIWES program. All my friends and course mates had found a place or two to attach themselves, I on the other hand was still hanging. I was out of options, then I found a place, a ministry, I couldn't be happier. Now, the only thing standing between me and that slot was a photocopy of my certificate of origin. I found a place, but the dude would not help me because he asked for my cellphone number (and I actually gave him a wrong one), so I left in hopes that I was going to find some other place. I travailed along Aka road  till I could take it no more. Then Eureka!, the man I was supposed to submit the form to had a photocopying machine right in his office,  I remembered. I better get going before he leaves the office. Maybe if I explained my situation and asked him nicely for help, he will help me out, I thought. I got to the office, and no sooner had I started explaining myself did the man get into a frenzy. He actually ordered me out, read that sentence all over again, telling me to get out and go find a place outside. I don't know where the waterworks came from, but they helped,  he made a copy for me and I was good to go. Now,  am I emotional enough for you?.
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Lest I forget, have you watched ' The fault in our stars', or these Indian movies 'We are family', and 'Like stars on earth'?.  Pretty emotional movies, though.  Oh, you cried right? Congrats, you're normal. Well, yours truly didn't feel a thing. I mean, I was touched, went all soft, until I realized all my room mates were crying and I was left out, again. Then the tears clouded, and I was like ' could this be my moment of breakthrough'?, the answer was No. They dried off before touching my lower eyelids.
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Now, there's this puppy I was so in love with. It wasn't mine, was my neighbour's. But it spent it's days over at ours. Well, it's life was cut short by a man with anger management issues. He hit the poor pup with a log, crippling it in the process and eventually the pup died.  Prior to its death, I watched it wallow in pains. It's hind legs were practically useless so it would shift on its rear end while propelling itself forward with its forelegs, and the first day I witnessed this I cried my heart out. No one expected that from someone who doesn't cry when humans die, well let's just say I hate injustice. Oh, and suffering as well. I guess I'm emotional in my own little way.
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Bottom line is, I don't think ones emotional state should be judged by how often they shed tears. We who cry the least, hurt the most, but would not admit it. Yes. We're strong like that. We dont need to wear our hearts on our sleeve but we show emotions through our actions and body language. It is an advantage as well as a disadvantage.  But blessed be the one who looks past the walls and barricades and sees us for who we really are. I hope we find our special someone.
Do have a pleasant night rest FAM.

About Yesterday

So, I ran into this old flame of mine, Mr N. No sooner had he seen me did he start apologizing and explaining, "I changed my phone so I lost your contacts, I asked ur sister for it and she refused, blah blah blah, We really need to talk, The attitude I displayed was so unbecoming of me, blah blah blah". My job was to stand there and stare. Let me tell you about Mr N.
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I met him October last year, and after d usual shakara, we got close by November.  He was oh-so-loving, oh-so-caring & oh-so-protective. My friend's who were in 'protective relationships' kept telling me "Thats how you know a guy is serious about you, U better stop playing around o" and I was like "Oshe, no b this type I bin dey find nah". I could be hanging out with my friends and Mr N would just call.
HIM: Where are you?
ME: I'm hanging out with my friends at..
HIM: (cuts in)Get back to hostel immediately.  Like, right now.
ME: But we are all girls here.
HIM: I said, get back to the hostel.
ME: (in my mind) WTF?!!!
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Mr N worked in shifts. There's this particular week he was on night shift. He'll work all night, then get back in the morning and crash. My job was to call him when he got back in the morning, whether he picks the call or not. On this particular morning, I forgot to call. I was still a student, for goodness sake, and there is something called '8 o'clock class'. After the class, I was on my way to the faculty when the phone rang.
ME: Hello
HIM: I woke up, checked my phone, and saw no missed call from you. Why?
ME: I'm sorry, I forgot. I was rushing for an early morning class.
HIM: So even when you were walking from the hostel to the class,  you couldn't try calling? U mean to tell me I didn't run through your mind at all this morning? Is that it?
ME: (in my mind)Abasi mmi mbok.
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Oh, did I mention that he had this 'tracking device' he used to know my exact whereabouts and that if i mistakenly slept without saying goodnight too, casala don burst. It so happened this day that Mr N told me he'll be back from work by 12am, and that he wants to talk to me before sleeping. Now, the socket in my corner was faulty,  so I was charging my phone in my roommates corner. I increased my volume to the loudest so I could hear my phone ring even if I was in the highest realm of my sleep. But I had very caring roommates, who will silence ur phone for you so you don't miss that dream. Mr N called, and my roommate 'helped' me put my phone on silent. I woke up in the morning and saw seven missed calls, my friend just started consoling me in advance.
ME: Good morning.
HIM: What is good about the morning? So u slept on purpose, so that i will look like a fool and be wasting my time to call you? As in, you can close your eyes and sleep without hearing from me. Is that it?
ME: (in my mind) This has got to stop.
After that conversation, I told myself 'My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?'.
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I was fed up. I needed an excuse to get out. So I did something I wouldnt do. Snooping. Phone calls, text messages, everything. My efforts paid off o. I found out that when Mr N relocated from Calabar to Uyo, due to work, he left a certain missy over there, and they still communicated on a regular. I couldn't be happier for this recent development.  So, I planned a confrontation.
ME: So, who's Precious?
HIM: What do you mean?
ME: Who's Precious? And why do u forward her messages to me, that's plagiarism.
HIM: Babe, why did you do this? Its so unlike you. Precious is someone I used to know. She's in my past.
ME: If your past is still keeping in touch with you in your present, then we're so done.
I still thank God for leaving there with my head on my shoulders. He tried contacting over the months but please, once bitten twice shy abeg. Seeing him again after one year did not still help matters, I told him its nice running into him but I'm not ready for the extra baggage that comes with being attached to him.
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Seriously though, me ladies, an overprotective guy can make you feel loved, and cared for, make you feel like he is scared of losing you, but if he always keeps you at attention, my dear, that's not love o. It is fear. That tingling you get in your stomach whenever his name appears on your caller ID, it is fear. How about the ones that keep forming protective yet are getting a lil action on the side?, they will make you lose all your 'MTN backup plans' then bail on you, making you overcome by grief. I'm not saying Snoop on him, nope, I'm just saying be mindful of the kind of relationship you stay in.
Do have a lovely day FAM.

About Last Night

I was having a conversation with my brother, when all of a sudden I felt sharp contracting pains in my abdomen. Oh my God, I was in labour, and no one was home. I told my brother to pack a few of my belongings into a bag and accompany me to the hospital. Where was my mom, I thought?. She's supposed to be here, her first daughter is about to bear her a grandchild and she's nowhere to be found. And then I remembered, she is sick and is in the hospital, well, I better meet her there.
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I went out the door and started walking down the street with my brother, one hand on my belly, protecting the bun in my oven from reckless drivers who swore and cursed my slow pace, couldn't they see I was pregnant?. But then, a car stopped, a good Samaritan ushered me in saying 'Madam, let me drop you at the hospital'. I thanked him for being too kind, got in after my brother, glad there existed people who still did good for others, I didn't mind the fact that the good Samaritan was driving recklessly too. All I wanted was to get to the hospital on time.
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At last, I arrived at the hospital, the famous UUTH, as I stepped out of the car and thanked the driver, my water just broke, and knew I had to get to the maternity ward without delay. I met my mom outside, coincidentally, and she directed me to where I would be assisted. I met a nurse there and saw some other ladies who had just put to birth, they were all sleeping, but had this plastered grin on their faces, like they had just gone through the most interesting ordeal of their life. I watched them with awe, as I too could not wait to plaster a grin on my face.
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I walked up to the nurse.
Me: Ma, my water just broke.
Nurse: Okay, you are set for labour. Do you have a card?
Me: What card?
Nurse: A hospital card. Is your card this one with the number 596-593?
Me: No, I mean, I don't know. I don't have a card.
Nurse: Okay, go and buy a card. Its #300, and you better hurry up else you will have to undergo a Caesarean Section. Or do you prefer an episiotomy?
Me: Let me think of it while buying the card.
I left to tell my mom about what happened and she scolded me for not agreeing my card was the one with the 596-593 number so I could go into the maternity ward in time, I left her anyway, and proceeded to join the queue.
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On the queue, I was wondering, a CS and an episiotomy. If I undergo a CS, I wouldn't have to go through the pain of pushing this baby out, I'll just lie there under the influence of anaesthesia while the surgeons do the work, the only time I'll feel pain is when the effect of the anaesthesia wears out. But not to worry, I can deal with that if I take the prescribed drugs. Or will I even be given drugs?. On the other hand, an episiotomy, no, no way. The pain of childbirth is enough on its own without some surgeon cutting my perineum. What a nerve. I recalled to mind a friend of mine who related how she had to sit on hot buckets of water just to heal. No, I couldn't go through that. I certainly couldn't.
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Having made up my mind, I bought the card and made my way back to the maternity ward. Where in the world was my brother?. Oh my God, did I just feel a kick?. I had better hurry. But wait, I had another option, one that required no pain at all. How could I not think of it, how forgetful I could be some times. Yes, i had another option, No Cesarean section, No Episiotomy. All I had to do was wake up, this afterall, is a dream. And so, with a jolt, I woke straight up, looked around, bed, window, curtains, I was in my room not a maternity ward. I felt my stomach, flat and empty, I heaved a sigh of relief and took a look at the time on my phone, 5:08am. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to occupy myself with some chores, lest I mistakenly fall asleep and find myself back in that dream in the maternity ward with the option of choosing between a CS and an episiotomy.
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Dreams are imaginative events seen in the mind while sleeping.
Good morning FAM.

About Yesterday

I can recall some few months back when my friend Ifiokabasi Naomi recounted her ordeal with some 419ners. She said they used the same old approach about being foreigners and having foreign goods to sell. I was among those that said 'Can't they bring up another method?. We're tired of that particular trick'.
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I'm all in for the whole 'respect your elders' thing. I respect people. I respect people who respect themselves even more. And more importantly, I respect myself for respecting people. I greet my elders (Some of them). I greet random people too. I could see you walk by, take an instant liking to you and just greet you for no reason. If i see a pregnant lady, a mature man or a seriously old person, i greet them. Respect. But the main point is, I greet people depending on my mood at the moment. If I'm not happy, or I'm feeling grumpy, you could walk past me three times and I would not say a word no matter how pregnant or seriously ancient you look.
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On this day, it happened that I left home feeling really grumpy. On the way I was just thinking to myself, what has gotten me so pissed, but I couldn't place it. So I shrugged at the thought and was like, fine, at least I don't get to greet people I don't actually like all in the name of Respect. I got to the tarred road, stopped a keke, got into it, my grumpy old self looking straight ahead without a glance at my co-passengers, so I would not be coaxed into greeting them. I reached into my bag, brought out my phone and then it hit me. My phone was the cause of my grumpiness. I can recall it mysteriously went off in the course of my taking a selfie and would not come on no matter how hard I pressed the power button. So I removed my battery, said a silent prayer, wiped the terminal nodes(i dunno what they call it) of the battery on my dress all the while muttering silently to myself, 'you can't do this to me, not now when I need you the most, what are lovers for'?. And I placed the battery back, pressed the power button and Voila, it came on. Then I turned to look at my co-passengers.
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Two men. The one sitting next to me was dressed like he had no idea what to put on. He wanted to portray himself in this I-need-to-look-good kind of way, mixing crazy colours and crazy patterns together and I just sat there thinking 'I understand bro, the economy is crazy'. The other guy, was dressed like he just escaped from Kanye West's fashion show, dressed in dirty brown and constantly moving his legs till I noticed his shoes. Nice brogues, bro. My phone was done getting itself together, so I gave it my full attention, swiping my screen left and right.
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I noticed the Kanye West guy poke the Crazy patterns guy. I did not look at them. But you know as much as I do that God blessed us with peripheral vision, the ability to look at things from the corner of your eye. I thought to myself, ah, so this two actually know each other. I heard the crazy patterns guy clear his throat and I just sat upright knowing fully well he was about to start a boring conversation. I waited, heard nothing, and continued with my phone. Just then his voice broke the silence. He had a hoarse, rough voice, the voice of someone who takes too much undiluted gin, and I recall thinking to myself-this man should try covering Beyonce's drunk in love (I've been drinking, I've been drinking)-he smiled at me and started.
Him: Good day my friend.
Me: (nods).
Him: I noticed you have a problem with your phone.
Me: (thinking to myself) Is this the maga that God has sent my way?.
Him: I have something that you will like. I have a company that deals in electronics. I am my own Boss. And right now, there are vacancies for 200 people. All you need to do is come for an interview. Luckily, you are the first person I'm talking to about this. My office is along Idoro road. When I look at you, I see a young girl who needs money and knows wat to do with it. I have your interest at heart. We can discuss the pay if you follow me to the office. I won't take much of your time.
Me: (thinking to myself) Seriously?, you just crammed everything on your script and poured it here for me. I wonder how many days it took you to memorize that.
Him: You're not saying a word. I know you're thinking this is too good to be true, but I promise you, I can't tell a lie. This is one of the shareholders in my company. He's from Togo.
At this point, I told myself, this drama couldn't get any more better. When he heard Togo, the Kanye West guy looked up at me said 'Bonjour'. And I was like, haba, your part in the script was the shortest. You have been cheated.
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I was still quiet. I do hear of people recount their ordeal in the hands of 419ners, of how mysteriously you'll vomit a pair of cow teeth if you take part in their conversation, and that, after that you will be jazzed hence losing control of your thinking ability. I dunno how true this is, but frankly, if such thing came out of my mouth I'm not sure I'll make use of this particular mouth again, so I held myself and just kept on staring and smiling.
The man was in a fix. He turned to the Bonjour guy and made a gesture with his hands, like he doesn't know wat else to say. If he knew sign language, I bet he would have tried signing right there and then because I practically looked like a dumb girl at the moment.
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The keke man could not even wait to download his own part of the script. He started:
Him: Sister, na wa for you o. U no like better thing?. Fine girl like you suppose dey rush this opportunity. Idoro road no far, Abi make i just turn for this U-turn?
The 'U-turn' he was referring to was close to Ukanaoffot street. At this point, I realized I really had a situation to handle, I was like, 'Mercy wipe that silly smile off your face and think straight. Oh my God, how do I get out of this keke without touching the driver and without saying a word?. Fix this, Lord'.
The 'Bonjour' guy started speaking in some crappy language and I was like 'Really?, is that supposed to be French?. You need to go back to that imaginary Togo'.
I saw a traffic warden ahead of me, I knew within me our lane was going to be the next to be stopped, my guess was right. Once we were stopped, I grabbed my bag and the Olodo phone that had started all this nonsense talk, I got out of the keke, crossed over to the other side of the road without a second glance at them and started trekking home thinking to myself 'Omoh, to go school no be by force, Let me rest for today, lest someone else tries to use my head. I am my own boss, with his nonsense dress sense. Why didn't they stick to the old foreign goods 419 stunt, would have saved me a lot of time. Why do things like happening to me sef?'. I used my tongue to count my teeth just incase there was a different alien pair attached somewhere, I told myself I'm walking home, after all Abak road is not that far from IBB and a little stroll won't hurt nobody. I had not walked up to 5minutes when I finally gave in and stopped a keke. I made sure it was empty. To hell with 419ners. I'm not walking the walk.
Have a wonderful evening FAM.

About Yesterday: Boarding School Experience

I asked my little sister what her idea of fun is being that she attends a day school as opposed to me who attended a boarding school. My secondary school days were the best days of my life. Starting from my SSS1, It was always a case of one week, one trouble for me and my friends. If we were not getting into trouble, we knew someone who got into trouble because of us. But of all my escapades, one incident still remains evergreen in my memory.

About Yesterday:

Everything was annoying the minute I set foot out the door. Starting from the keke driver who drove like he was auditioning for a part in Fast n Furious to the freakish co-passenger who was swinging left n right as if contemplating if to jump out or not(all I was concerned about was the keke tumbling over if he eventually made up his mind anyway), and then there was a little rain scare which had me finding shelter in a CD shop with a guy who won't stop singing(and about his voice,I guess u know d rest). Then I got to my destination, School. 

About Yesterday

I got tired of combing my strong hair, so, I went to the salon to get anything done on my hair. When I arrived, I saw four ladies in the shop, the shop owner, her assistant and two ladies.

No sooner had I gotten my hair washed when a very good friend to the shop owner came in, walking so upright and stiff, she could barely move her legs, I was like, what kinda medical condition is this one (I didn't say it out loud o, biko), But we just watched her in awe and wonderment (I didn't even know this word existed) as she struggled to climb the steps leading to the salon.